


"Goodbye"

by potatolesbian



Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Car Accidents, Grief/Mourning, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27606013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatolesbian/pseuds/potatolesbian
Summary: Day 7: GoodbyeTW// character death, car accidents
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Miya Osamu, Past Bokuaka, mentioned kenhina
Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2005972
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	"Goodbye"

**Author's Note:**

> the last fic for the series  
> my beta reader hates me :))

Bokuto finds it the hardest to let go out Akaashi. He finds it the hardest to say goodbye to him. 

He has said goodbyes and farewells before. And he remembers crying every time he had to say goodbye. He was crying while refusing to let go of his childhood friend on the playground. He was crying while his parents had to bury his first pet hamster in the backyard. He cried when both of his sisters were going into colleges and had to move out. He cried after graduating. He cried when his team held a farewell party for him and his other fellow third years. He cried when he got into college and moved out.

Goodbyes had always been difficult for him. They always hurt. But saying goodbye to Akaashi hurt the most.

There had been instances where it felt like it was going to be their last moments together, but they always found a way back to each other. He guessed that was what made what they had special. 

It wasn’t that different after graduation. He still went to Fukurodani from time to time. He still watched their matches and cheered for their new captain. He would walk Akaashi home like the old times. They would still go out together. They hooked up. They went on dates. If he didn’t get to see Akaashi, he would text him, call him, talk to him for hours. They were inseparable. They were in love. They were together. 

And then things got a little bit rocky after that. Bokuto got into a professional volleyball team while Akaashi was an editor for a manga company. They tried to make it work, they really did. But the ending of their relationship was sort of inevitable. They were going separate ways. They got too busy. It was much harder to meet up. Bokuto got clingier, Akaashi got distant. Every time they met, it ended up with them shouting at each other and with at least one of them crying. One of them always ended up leaving or getting kicked out of the apartment. They were frustrated. They were hurt. They were tired.

Akaashi was the one that suggested it. They met up in a park during a cool night. No one was shouting. No one was crying. It was just two of them silently sitting beside each other. The most peace they’d in a while. “I think it’s for the best,” he said, “I don’t want to keep holding you back.” Akaashi stood up and looked at Bokuto, who still hadn’t said anything, just stared. Akaashi looked calm, relieved, he sighed, gave a small smile and said, “You take care of yourself okay.” And walked away. 

He didn’t say goodbye, but it felt like it to Bokuto, so he bawled his eyes out right then and there. He thought that was it. He thought that was the end. 

It wasn’t, of course. 

Bokuto had spent the next few days crying. He was trying his best to come to terms with the fact that he might never see Akaashi again. That Akaashi might never be a part of his life ever again. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to imagine it, let alone have it become reality. He knew it was for the best. If they hadn’t broken up then it would’ve gotten way worse. He knew a relationship like that wasn’t possible. But he didn’t want to let go of Akaashi, not like that. So he went over to Akaashi’s apartment. Akaashi was shocked but let him in. The odd tension still floated around them but they still talked. Bokuto told Akaashi everything he felt. He ended up crying, Akaashi did too. He didn’t beg him to take him back. He didn’t want a relationship, he just wanted Akaashi to be there. Akaashi wanted that too. So they decided to just stay friends.

It was a bit awkward at first but they were able to go back in sync. Bokuto had stopped looking at Akaashi with those eyes and even Akaashi was able to get into another relationship with that Miya guy from the onigiri shop. All the romantic tension between them had faded away and they were just able to be there in each other’s presence. Bokuto didn’t have to say goodbye to Akaashi. He didn’t want to say goodbye to Akaashi. 

Until he had to.

It was sudden. Everything was normal. He just wanted to hang with Akaashi because it had been a while. He just wanted to hear about Akaashi’s life with Osamu and his job as an editor and then talk about his. He wanted to catch up and talk as much as they could until there was nothing but comforting silence left. He just wanted to call in a taxi so Akaashi wouldn’t have to walk all the way home. He just wanted him to get home safe. He didn’t want to get a call about Akaashi getting into a car crash. He didn’t want to stay in that cold hallway on the verge of tears, anxiously waiting for the doctors to say something. He didn’t want to accidentally fall asleep and wake up to Sakusa comforting a clearly distressed and crying Osamu because Akaashi hadn’t made it.

He didn’t want that.

His memories are a blur. He just knows Hinata would come in his apartment very often to check up on him, he would bring Kenma with him. If they weren’t checking up on him, then it was Kuroo. Kuroo refused to come in to check up on him when Hinata and Kenma were there. It was weird but Bokuto was too tired to ask why. Sakusa was more focused on taking care of Osamu. Bokuto understood that. Throughout those times, he refused to say goodbye.

He wanted to hold on, he wanted to be able to go back to Akaashi as he did before. He wanted to make sure that they were okay. That Akaashi would still be there for him and vice versa. He wanted to go back so badly. But he couldn’t. 

Bokuto finds it the hardest to let go of Akaashi. He finds it the hardest to say goodbye to him. He would rather not until he has to. Until he has to get up and go all the way to the cemetery where Akaashi is buried. Until he has to come face to face with the reality in front of him. Standing in front of the grave, a picture of Akaashi smiling staring back at him. He only says a few words.

“Goodbye,

And thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> this series was actually really fun to do! I can't wait to participate in this type of event again!!


End file.
